Learning Concepts Several Days Per Week Only To Retain Very Little (Autistic Burnout Reality)
I was trying to learn programming. It's a special interest of mine, (Especially to build Spoons!) but since I've been in autistic burnout for over 4 years (Now 6 years as of me updating this post in March 2026), learning it is both exhausting and draining, with me often taking multiple days to get an acceptable grasp on the concept.
How much I can do (Real limit)
I only learn programming for 1 hour or 2 at most of the time. Usually when I'm working on Spoons—my special interest(Which is tied to loving coding)—I get a temporary surge of motivation that can last for hours to learn and improve my skills that will directly benefit my app. Even with programming as a special interest, burnout limits how much I can actually do. Otherwise, I spend just an hour learning every couple of days, and will often not even touch my computer or write a single line of code until I have more energy.
What I sacrifice to make it possible
I have to reduce majority of the cognitive load. Reading task descriptions becomes impossible because my executive function is so low.
Executive function collapse is one of the primary imapacts to me being in burnout. Planning is the hard part. I can understand a concept, but starting the next step feels impossible. I can almost never seem to get a running start on what to learn first, or even if it's helping me.
Reading a long task list drains me, so I only do whatever is urgent and stop, to ensure I have enough energy to practice or even play some games later if I have any energy for later. If I avoid this, (With my 1-10 slider's energy context in mind) I'm usually at 2-3 energy before I start practicing some syntax, which causes me to abrupt silent meltdowns very quickly and immediately put off doing anything more until the next day, or most commonly days later, often the period where I forgetten most of the material leaving me to review it again regardless.
What I sacrifice to make it possible
Even with a structured course, I need more repetitions because my energy is low and my retention is fragile.
Sue to being in autistic burnout, I need to practice concepts quite a bit more on their own to compensate the low energy I currently have, which actively has made retention and forming pathways for my skills to actually develop a living nightmare.
What "days per concept" actually means (example)
Example: I learned arrays on Monday, couldn’t retain it Tuesday, reviewed Wednesday, and only felt ‘okay’ using it Thursday.
I take multiple days of rest between coding sessions. Simple tasks like making my bed or grabbing a snack cost almost nothing. But cleaning my entire house? I skip it for weeks until I have 6-7 energy instead of my usual 4—and even then, only on days I'm not coding.
What keeps me going
I'm forcing myself to learn programming to build Spoons. (In fact as of March 2026, my app is basically finished!) Once I do, I can track what causes sensory overload—sun glare, loud noises in my family's house. Paper tracking is too demanding when I'm burned out: find notebook, find working pencil, find empty page.
Meditation is also something I considered but the focus aspect of it requries cognitive resources I've simply not had in years due to my ongoing burnout state. So I figured an app with one slider is way easier. I can reference it anytime without friction and open it up without much fluff getting in the way.
Since ignoring factors that cause me sensory overload dramatically reduces the speed of which I'm able to learn and process things.(Understand concept speed goes down since I skim through text and concepts subconsciously as my brain is trying to converse every ounce of energy I possibly have) Tracking how much energy I have makes the most sense to have plenty of energy for the things that matter to me the most, such as learning this, or anything else I may want to do, even if it's not special interest related.
I'm Omari, a 23-year-old autistic adult who's been managing chronic burnout for 5+ years while working warehouse shifts.
I built Spoons for reasons such as this. To know when I have enough energy to learn, and when I need to rest and overall being sustainable and realistic with my own limits.
Launching April 2026. getspoons.app - One email when it's ready. No spam.
— Omari
Note: I'm sharing my personal experience as an autistic adult, not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe burnout or crisis, please consult a healthcare provider familiar with autism.