Happy and Completely Drained at the Same Time
Mood tracking apps use generic terms like "mood." They assume mood = unhappy, rather than drained = exhausted.
Can you have good mood but low energy? Absolutely.
I like playing Fortnite with my friends, as well as Roblox alone in my free time, but the trivial nature of small talk is exhausting. I'm clearly enjoying myself but dislike navigating small talk just to engage in things I enjoy. I just want to play either alone, or with others without the expectations to engage in small talk.
Mood = How I feel emotionally.
Energy = How much capacity I have to act, talk, and tolerate input.
What Energy Actually Measures
Energy tracking tells me the subtle factors that make me feel drained, not simply "unhappy, like most (But not all) NT's like to assume about us.
Bothersome environments with bright lighting or flashing colors drain me, such as at my job. Some flashing lights (Such as the arcade) are still somewhat draining but I still like how everything appears, especially the lights around the games and stuff. Mood tracking doesn't account for the actual drains the vast majority of us dealing on a daily bais.
When my mood is fine but my energy drops, it’s usually from:
- Bright lights / Flickering - Light from sun outside and warehouse lights from the ceiling as a primary example. I always wear my light sensitivity glasses now because of this.
- Constant background noise - Processing load from coworkers talking, some of which being very loud and my brain picking up on every word of it, despite focusing my attention on something else.
- Unexpected interruptions / Task-switching - Having to be moved from one task to another with very little to no explanation, and having to realign everything in my mind as the previous mindset from the previous task I was doing (The box cutter here, the station is here, the scanner is here) is still present in my mind and I have to adapt to it immediately. Like an internet tab still running in the background despite clearly closing it, using up memory in the background.)
- Social scripting / eye contact - Constantly having to read their expressions, anticapating furhter small talk, and getting anxiety spikes from unexpected reactions such as "Is everything okay" is my responses are brief, when I'm clearly fine.
- Sensory stuff on my skin (Sweat, sunscreen)
- Constantly having to rub my back or face - Feels like I'm always having an itch somewhere. I thought it might be from the tag on my back, but it's nearly my entire body and I feel a need to rub and to scratch everywhere every 20-45 seconds. This happens nearly every day, but it's frequently and duration when it happens varies. It happens often when I go running outside, even as early as 5 in the morning
Why This Matters for Us Especially
Sensory overload is more taxing for us by far than it is for neurotypicals. We deal with a couple of unpredictable demands there, a few small talk scenarios there, then by the end of the day we barely have any energy to engage in anything else. We shouldn't have to feel so exhausted all of the time simply for just trying to exist.
I've gotten in the habit of tracking my energy most of the time to pick up on these subtle drains. Noticing in periods where I'm masking a lot more than I usually do (Constantly forcing my posture to face a certain way, or smile in certain moments to reduce further small talk) All of it is draining and since majority of my conversations usually lead to that draining loophole, I've decided to minimize how many I engage with on a daily basis entirely. Not entirely cutting them off, but to just 1 or 3, and with someone who understand my neurological differences rather than judging them blindly.
Real Examples
Talking with friends. I enjoy talking with them, but masking my autistic traits—forcing eye contact, scripting what to say, navigating small talk—creates social exhaustion despite being happy to see them.
What happens when I only track mood instead of energy? I become unaware of why I feel drained most of the time. Why executive dysfunction kicks in and I literally can't get out of bed and do chores despite being eager to.
I can still feel happy in the moment, but very exhausted on the other side of the scale. Having low energy has an impact on my mood but isn't directly responsible for me being happy or sad. Most apps treat this baseline as the same thing, which is one of the many reasons most (but not all) that claim to help us end up failing us.
I'm Omari, a 23-year-old autistic adult who's been managing chronic burnout for 5+ years while working warehouse shifts.
I decided to build an autism energy tracking app, called Spoons considering the impacts that small talk, or even subtle drains such as phone vibrating being physically uncomfortable into acount when tracking my energy. Since work and even my enviornment at home wasn't accomadating me fully, It feels it only makes sense at this point to accomadate myself to minimize whatever drains me whenever I can.
Spoons launches April 2026. getspoons.app - One email when it's ready. (You can sign up for the waitlist if your interested) No spam.
— Omari
Note: I'm sharing my personal experience as an autistic adult, not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe burnout or crisis, please consult a healthcare provider familiar with autism.