What People Misunderstand About Autistic Shutdown (Adult)
The Assumption That Gets It Wrong
People assume I’m just upset or being rude.
I’m not. I’m overloaded—too much noise, too much light, too much input.
When that happens, my ability to talk and respond collapses.”
What a Meltdown Actually Feels Like
My body shuts down both physically and mentally. When I try to speak to friends or coworkers, I'll halt immediately afterward, thinking for several minutes on end how to respond. There's literal resistance to sending or responding to anything while I'm already experiencing sensory overload. At this point I'm already at 2-3 energy units and end up not responding at all—just spending time with myself.
Majority of the time my meltdowns are completely inaudible to friends and coworkers around me. Deep down I'm immensely frustrated. I feel an extreme urge to head straight home and let everything out when no one is watching or can hear me. The meltdown lasts for the rest of the day once I'm overwhelmed.
How Burnout Changed Everything
Being in autistic burnout for over 5 years now, my tolerance to loud noises and sensations on my skin is way lower.
A few years earlier, meltdowns were intense but not extremely common. Inaudible meltdowns were short and manageable with a couple days of rest. Nowadays I have to go above and beyond to not reach that breaking point. This is why I don't make an effort to talk to anyone new. I mostly talk to friends who truly understand and are actually supportive—it's way too exhausting and painful to navigate meeting someone new when I'm nowhere near close to getting better.
What "Help" Actually Makes It Worse
Trying to comfort me with physical touch—hugging or a soft poke on the shoulder—makes everything worse. My sensory tolerance up to that point has been pushed to its limit. More sensory stimuli isn't going to help.
What makes it worse
- touch
- questions
- forced conversation
What I need
- 30–60 minutes alone
- no talking
- low light / quiet
I just need them to understand I need time alone. At least 30 minutes to an hour where I don't have to talk to anyone, mask to anyone, or navigate around everyone and everything.
About Me
I'm Omari, a 23-year-old autistic adult who's been managing chronic burnout for 5+ years while working warehouse shifts.
This is why I built Spoons. To notice when my energy level hits 3 or 2 so I can halt conversations or cancel plans before I reach that breaking point so I can stop conversations before I tip over.
Launching April 2026. getspoons.app - One email when it's ready. No spam.
— Omari
Note: I'm sharing my personal experience as an autistic adult, not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe burnout or crisis, please consult a healthcare provider familiar with autism.